Abstract: How to Sleep Like a Kitten

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Proper Sleep Positioning: by R. Cosmo Brown.
After much research, the author posits a seven-step procedure for optimal kitten sleep.  Properly positioned, a kitten can snore loudly while maintaining an appearance so cute that humans will not interrupt much-needed dreamtime. 

Step One: Procure a textile crocheted with Lion Brand Homespun (R) yarn.  Accept no substitutes.
Step Two: Circle the textile three times before lying down on it.
Step Three: Remove bones.
Step Four: Twist so that white locket, underpants, and armpits are all visible.
Step Five: Turn head upside down.
Step Six: Behold that my paws are enormous.
Step Seven: ...
Smile for the camera and then go to sleep.